The problem

The nature of every introvert's problem is quite simple: the inadequately processed emotions he feels accumulate and burden his conscience, deforming his perception of communication. Thus, he has to learn how to perceive and process emotions adequately. Introverts often feel misplaced: for instance, when during some workshop they are asked to speak about themselves, not to mention interacting with others. That results in a defensive attitude that impedes communication, and virulent protection of their private space. Another problem is that an introvert feels the necessity to process all the emotions he feels during the day, as opposed to an extrovert who feels much easier about them.


Dynamics and statics

These two terms from school-level physics can be used to explain the nature of introverts and extroverts. Dynamics has to do with movement, whereas statics implies a state of calm. Extroverts have a plentiful supply of statics, so they try to gain the dynamics they lack by being more active. Introverts, on the other hand, have lots of dynamics, and are thus more focused on themselves. For instance, they consider eating or reading as processes that are aimed at increasing their supply of statics.



Make your lobes work

A human brain can be visually divided into two parts – the frontal lobe and the end lobe. The frontal lobe is responsible for communicating with the external world, and the end lobe governs internal issues. To control the flow of incoming information, we have to control our brain's work. For instance, frontal lobes are most active during successful communication. Yet, how do we know whether they are active or not? Actually, there is a set of exercises for training both parts of the brain. One of them works as follows: you impede the ingress of oxygen through your nostrils and continue breathing with your nose (that can be done simply by using your fingers). After doing that, you'll feel how your frontal lobe activates. Another exercise is to half-open your mouth, lift your tongue to your upper teeth and breathe in such a way that the air flows underneath the tongue. This activates the work of the end lobe.


Tips on making communication easier

1. Do not try to always look at your conversation partner - no one likes when someone stares at him for a long time. Try looking at other people or objects;

2. Do not try to make body contact if you see that the other person doesn't like it - every person has his own comfort zone.

3. If you feel that the conversation is getting tense, try to transfer the other person's attention to some object: a pen in your hands, notes, or other people;

4. Sometimes we get tired even of the people we like. This doesn't mean the communication gets boring - it’s just that the organism needs rest. This often manifests in closed postures: hands crossed, face covered, and the like. If you have a couple of minutes, try to put everything aside and think of nature, the sea, and places you'd like to visit. An eye mask can be of great help here; 

5. If you feel edgy about some important conversation, prepare for it: imagine how it will go, what the other person will say, what you should or shouldn't say and the possible ways to solving the matter of discussion;

6. Sometimes, communication doesn't go the right way and becomes tense, so you need to calm it somehow. How do you do that if nobody is ready to back down? Visualization might work here. Just imagine your conversation partner sitting on a sofa, in calm and comfy surroundings. If you do that right, it might affect him, and the atmosphere will lighten. Yet, don't try that with your professors or bosses - those who are of higher standing than you. 




Setting things straight

Learning to process emotions and training adequate responses takes time. Here are some activities that might help:

1. Debates and public performances. Getting skills in public performances will help develop communications skills as well, as it is one of the most difficult formats of communication. After doing that for some time, common communication will seem a lot easier.

2. Acting skills. Courses in acting can teach you to show emotions you don't really experience - as if you were a different person. This helps loosen up and feel inner peace and freedom. You will also learn to behave in a way that suits a particular situation most.

3. Learn foreign languages. It is the same as with acting skills. Learning a foreign language implies more than just remembering words and doing exercises; you also learn gestures, tone, the manner of speaking that is accepted in a different culture. So, you can acquire new traits: English gallantry, American drive, Italian sensibility. All of that makes your inner self better.